I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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