I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
