Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What a dumb baby whore.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
