You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
