He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
