he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
