Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
