I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
