Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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