Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
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I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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