I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
