If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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