I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
