yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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