ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
