Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
