I have demons in me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
