let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
