Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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