I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
