she pinky promised me she was 18
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
