Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
50% drunk capacity currently
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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