Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize