You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
