Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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