Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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