Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
