You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
