i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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