her vagine was all disorganized.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
