I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
