some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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