This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
