two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
