U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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