$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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