This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
