your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
