I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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