Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
