tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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