His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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