I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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