it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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