Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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