I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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