New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
