Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize