It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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