I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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