I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
