Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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