Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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