Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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