You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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