Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
