Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
