i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
