where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
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My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
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just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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