remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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