I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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