Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
