I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
