My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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